Cabin Fever
by Gothica Angel
Summary: When the boys are stranded in a cabin, Duo goes a little crazy. Cussing, Wufei bashing (In good fun) minor adult theme (like one line) INSANITY! and OOC for everyone except Duo. R&R!


Discalimer- Gundam Wing belongs to Sunrise Sotsu (I spelled it right!) and not to me.  
Warnings - cursing, insanity, A little OOC for everyone, EXCEPT Duo. Oh and a bit of Wufei bashing but it's all in good fun...  
Author's Random Ranting - I had to write this to get I'll Cover You out of my mind! It's about Duo and Heero and Trowa and Quatre and Wufei all stuck in this tiny shack when they all get snowed in... READ!! Mwuhahahaha!  
  
Cabin Fever  
  
"OW! What the hell! Duo, if you don't stop hitting me with that carrot..." Heero threatened. Duo just giggled and skipped across the room singing.   
  
"Can we PLEASE kill him. We don't really need five Gundam pilots. Four is good!" Wufei pleaded with Heero.  
  
"Don't threaten Duo!" Quatre cried, putting a protective arm around the young boy's shoulders. Duo pointed his tongue at Wufei, gave a little wiggle, and ran away giggling as Quatre sighed and said, "Can't blame him for having cabin fever."  
  
*********************************************************************************  
  
Later, Duo sat at the kitchen table sculpting a huge model of his Gundam Death Scythe Hell out of none other than freeze dried peas. Trowa leaned over to Quatre and said,  
  
"If we didn't know it was cabin fever, I'd put him in a nut house."  
  
Heero came out from the one bedroom in the shack and stopped, gaping at Duo's creation.  
  
"DUO! WE NEED THOSE FREEZE DRIED PEAS FOR FOOD, BAKA!!!!!!!!!!" he yelled.  
  
"Quatre, hand me another bag of those gundanium peas over there," Duo smiled devilishly at his work of 'art'. They had been snowed in for 5 hours, and already Duo was driving them crazy. They had been on an infiltration mission, and a snowstorm had come up, trapping them. They had found this tiny shack with one bedroom and bathroom. Trapped until the snowstorm stopped.   
  
"HAHAHAHAHA! It's done! My beloved Deathscythe, you're alive!" Duo began to sob as he gingerly hugged the model. He lifted it up, as though it was flying.  
  
"Heero, don't turn around," Trowa warned him.  
  
Being a natural skeptic, Heero turned his head, and was hit flush in the face with the gundam model as peas went everywhere.  
  
"The Shinigami flies again!!!!!!!!!!" Duo ran around the room with his arms outstretched making plane sounds. Heero just turned back to the operation manual he was reading. Wufei, who had been in the bathroom came running out looking confused at all the noise, and tripped on the peas scattered every. He fell flat on his face, almost breaking his nose.  
  
"Kuso, Duo you infernal bastard! Keep your peas to yourself!"  
  
Duo just giggled again and threw a handful of peas at Wufei just as he was taking a deep breath through his nose, trying to see if his nasal passages were clear. One pea flew straight up Wufei's already injured nose making him step back in surprise. Of course it wouldn't be right if he didn't trip on those damn peas again, and he fell right on his butt.  
  
"Duo! If Wufei's nose wasn't injured before, it is now and so is his ass! Sit still!" Trowa said, trying to keep a straight face. Heero wasn't having as much luck, so he buried his face in his book and tried to keep everyone from hearing his quiet laughing.   
  
Wufei limped over to where Duo stood and sprang on him. Wufei got both hands around his throat and began to throttle the Deathscythe pilot. Duo wriggled out of the Chinese boy's grasp and ran into the bedroom. He came dancing out and held up his cellular phone. The one thing that could save the other boys from going insane themselves. Heero's eyes widened. He put his manual down gingerly, as though Duo was a shy fawn that would be disturbed by the slightest movement. The other pilots did the same, and each approached Duo from a different direction. When at last they were close, they pounced. When everyone stood up though, Duo had somehow slipped through and was standing at the now open window. He grinned mischievously, and pitched the phone outside.   
  
"DUO, YOU-YOU-YOU CHILD!!!! THAT WAS OUR ONLY HOPE!!!" Heero yelled.  
  
"Why, Duo, WHY!" Wufei broke down and ran to the bedroom screaming, "All I wanted was a pony. That's all! But nooooooo, it was gundam this, gundam that! You have to achieve your pony through manifest destiny, Wufei!"  
  
"He's cracked."  
  
"Lost it."  
  
"Poor Wu-Wu," Duo giggled. Trowa pulled Heero aside and they began to talk quietly. Trowa nodded and Heero smirked evilly. The two boys tackled, tied, and gagged the writhing boy and pitched him onto the faded couch, the only piece of furniture besides a table, two chairs, and mattress.   
  
"Ok, Heero, explain why you have makeup in your backpack? For kicks?" Trowa and Heero grinned at Duo's widening eyes, "Now Duo, you've had your little, uh fun, now it's time for us to have some fun. Quatre, would you do us the honors?"  
  
"Of course! With 29 sisters, you'd think I'd played dress up before, Trowa."  
  
"Well, the place we were supposed to infiltrate was a cosmetic industry corporate building. It would look suspicious with 5 teenage guys walking in there. I was planning this for Duo all along. I even brought a dress," Duo fainted at Heero's words.   
  
Trowa and Heero wrestled the braided boy into the light blue, gauzy gown Heero had brought. Quatre applied the makeup, and half an hour later, they were done. They woke Duo up finally and carried him to the bathroom where there was a small mirror. Duo looked at it, and immediately struggled to break free. The boys laughed, and Wufei walked in. Losing his footing on the slippery bathroom tile in surprise, he fell, his head cracking on the linoleum. Duo spit out his gag and howled with laughter.  
  
"Let's go make some coffee you guys," Quatre thought wiping the last laughing tear from his eye. They all went to the kitchen and first to notice the storm was Trowa.  
  
"The snow. It's stopped."  
  
They all cheered, but as Duo went to rid himself of the gauzy blue dress, Heero stopped him.  
  
"Let's just have a little more fun, everyone huddle."  
  
*********************************************************************************  
  
2 hourse later, the boys could hear Wufei stirring. Heero nodded to Duo, and Duo hid himself behind the couch. Wufei walked out rubbing his head.  
  
"I had the strangest dream! I dreamed that Maxwell was cross dressing and you guys were forcing him to do some weird ritualistic, sexual act," The Shenlong pilot said with a look of confusion.  
  
At those very words, Duo jumped up from behind the couch with the dress and makeup still on and said in his best Scarlet O'Hara voice,  
  
"Hi, Wufei! Don't I look purty!"  
  
*********************************************************************************  
  
The 4 boys dragged an again unconscious Wufei behind them on a makeshift sled over the snow. They didn't talk for some time until a certain loudmouth pilot said,  
  
"You know guys, that was a serious predicament we were in. You should've been more serious! Honestly, making me cross dress..."


End file.
